Soul Writer

A speaker in church recently told us not to be afraid to be a Christian so in this post, I will write like I would to a Christian friend. I am always afraid of offending others or being insensitive that I compromised (once) my values. So anyway, this is a movie review of an inspirational movie, ‘Soul Surfer’.

This movie is based off a true story of Bethany Hamilton’s experience in losing her arm in a shark attack. It was just a normal day when she was surfing when it happened and then after that the struggles she went through with finding meaning in her life again. With only one arm, surfing seemed impossible, but this movie animates her journey to finding God’s will for her life despite only having one arm.

It’s a really encouraging and inspiring movie that made me want to cry many times. I love this movie, not only because it made me remember what being a Christian really means, but about hard work, perseverance, God’s will and also perspective. Shall I tell you why?

I’m lazy. I’ve tried to convince myself I just need to rest and I work better when I have more breaks. Maybe it worked when I was younger and it didn’t really matter but it’s becoming worse and I don’t like it. But when it came to action, I can’t convince myself to do it. My parents warn me (threaten I should say) by saying that if I don’t do my homework/study/revision studiously, I won’t be able to do what I want to do in life. I’ve thought about it. What if studying won’t get me what I want to do? What if all the things I’m learning is destroying the person I want to be? I mean, research has been done, that the more education one has, one loses creativity. It’s harder to ‘think out of the box’ because of all the fixed facts you’ve learnt are the answer to life.

I’ve never persevered either. I try once and when I fail, I’m scared to do it a second time. At first it was only with things I thought I won’t be able to excel in but then when you lose self-confidence, you’ll feel thatĀ everything is impossible. There’s just something in me that wants to play safe and only do things I’m good at. Have you ever had that feeling? Maybe it’s a teenager thing. I’m being brutally honest here and it really scares me.

I’ve also thought a lot about God’s will in my life. What does he want me to do? Is writing really my talent? For every one person who tells me that my writing is good or even okay, there’s ten other people who are better at this than me. What if this is not what He wants me to be doing? Bethany’s problem in the movie was the fact that she lost her arm so she was teetering on the edge of uncertainty about professional surfing being what God wants her do to. Mine problem is uncertainty with my talent. I like writing but I don’t excel per se in it.

Then there’s perspective. In the movie, she learns (before the shark attack) about perspective and how often we are too close to a situation to see it properly. What looks like brains or veins up close turns out to be a walnut and after you see the walnut, you’ll be thinking ‘oh, of course, I should have known’ but often you won’t have known. You’re too close. It’s true. How can a shark attack be Bethany’s destiny? For mine lesson about that, it’s a really long story and it’ll probably seem childish and petty but I have problems making friends. And the friends I end up making are not friends that would last for a long time. It’s as if they want to call themselves my friends so that they belong somewhere.

But when I get annoying, they go. When I am useful, they come back. It felt like that and I don’t understand why God lets this happen to me. Friends are something that I pray about all the time. Since I was a little kid. Friends are the reason I started this blog.. I decided that I wasn’t going to find a perfect friend, that the only person I could really be certain will stay with me is myself. Of course there’s God and I’m so grateful and thankful that he would love me all the time, twenty-four seven, even when I’m making mistakes, even when I’m being the most unkind, selfish, childish person in the whole world.

He loves me.

It was what kept Bethany going. It should be what keeps me – keeps us ALL- going.

I don’t understand why God would love me like that but I’ve lost faith in ever finding someone who would ever love me in a similar way. People always talk about how they have great, supportive friends. Yes, those are the ones I give up looking for. Does this kind of explain my blog title?

So back to the movie review. It made me think a lot. And I spent a whole night thinking all about it. About how her parents reacted to it, her brothers, her friends and the world. It made her famous because she survived this tough ordeal and she turned it into a way she can spread the gospel. God used what looked like the worst thing that could ever happen to her into something that would benefit and help other people which is what we all want to do somewhere deep in our hearts – hopefully.

If you haven’t watched it. GO AND WATCH IT. It is the best movie in the world and perhaps one that has influenced me the most. More than most of the Christian films I have ever watched.

And it’s challenged me to be the person I want to be. It can’t have been a coincidence that I love writing. Maybe God will use it. I just have to keep loving it and keep writing. Like surfing, life is also like writing. Every word makes a difference. No word is there on the page for decorative purposes.

Each word has a purpose, just as each second of your life has a meaning.

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